first day Vs last day

When we were born, we were the only one who cried but people surrounding us smile and enjoy seeing us crying. Tears become our best company and be with us thru out those years. The only different is some might cry because their heart is touching with something which is so wonderful in their life. Some might also cry because of their marvellous success but this kind of moment doesnt make sense to me most of the time. The very first time I received my trophy I cried because was teasing by students from other classes. Is it wrong being in the back class? No one said anything and we seem accepted our faith...it was all right being teasted just because we were weak in academic and from poor family! When reached teenage, tears and sadness still with me all the time. Nobody really understand or care about how I feel. I am always the person who have to give and are not expected to ask for anything. Everybody surrounding me expected me to understand their needs, their feelings, their problems...just eveything of them and figure out the solution...again I cant let anybody down...when i faced difficulties and felt so down, tears alone was my best friend. After graduation, i spent 12 years far away from my hometown. I sacrified everything to gain peace in my life but again...what a disapointed life. I did and I do have wonderful students and caring parents but after I became more and more famous, I only have my sweetest students by my side... the most precious asset in my life. The rest were hidden enemies that i had no idea where they came from! Everybody started to put higher and higher expectation on me! I just want to have a normal life! Peaceful life ! Simple life! Is it too much to ask for? Anyway I still enjoyed some peaceful life that i 'bought' by using money that i earned there...it was really worthy... I need a space to breath again...Now I am back. My situation turn worst yet nobody can sense how i feel or why I feel in this way! I never ever want to be famous! I really hate it! If my birthday will be my last day on this earth, i am happy to go with my last word...I am sorry for all my wrong doings and may you all have a much more better life than mine...But if God wants me to continue to serve His children, i will obey...I am very sure that He loves me very much...He is the only one who console my broken heart and sweeping away all my tears... I dont know why i have to go thru this kind of life but I do believe one day He will let me know the reason! You are good all the time, Almighty God! I believe! Lastly...may I have a peaceful birthday this year ...