A letter to Chiet Joo

Dear Chiet Joo, it has been quite a long time you keep silence. The first time i met you, you were just a form two young lady. During that time I just served in education field for 2 years. I had my own ambition, my vision, my ego. Because of my back ground, I always told myself I will help those poor students to stand up for their right and fight for their life. I will be there for them ! Broken history shouldn't repeat on my poor students...my students...Anywhere you are one of those that i overlook at the beginning of my career as a teacher...those from good back ground....to me I had nothing to give except teaching. Students from good back ground don't need me. But I never told you that my memories about you had changed my life as a teacher forever. I still remember that you spoon feed me with a nugget that you cooked during ERT lesson...I ate it with ordinary feeling...I still remember one day you asked your friend to ask me whether you can join me to Popular bookstore after tuition....again i said yes with a cool feeling. I just wondering what do you want from me? I am not the one that you are looking for neither do I ! You don't need my attention! The third memory about you is when LEO Club had a trip to Brunei, you squeeze in to sleep near by me...you managed to get a space to sleep head to head with me on the floor ! Any way i still entertaint your request with an ordinary heart. The fourth memory is when you point out my mistake in one of the Economic's formula. You did ask me in such a polite way but I refused to admitt it. My ego shouldn't ruin by a good back ground student...Economics just your external subject...how could it be that I make a mistake? When I still struggle, the fifth memory drop in my life and finally had opened my eyes, my ears ...my heart ! Finally I let go my ego! I am able to apologize to students...I always be there for my students...all kind of back ground ! All are my students ! All !I love them very much ! It's because of you ! I really wish that I can say thank you to you personally! I really hope that I can admmit my mistake before you! I really hope that I will be given one more chance but the fifth memory remind me that I won't have any chances to say it anymore...no more...just no more....you already with Him...Quek Liang was the first person who told me about that news! I didn't respon cause it can't be! School closed caused of haze...why you were out from your house? Why you ride your bicycle up to the hill? You are too young to leave...just too young to leave this world....I am sorry I ignored you those days...i am sorry I withdraw my love from you...I am sorry i refused to admmit my mistake...I am sorry that i only know how to become a teacher after you have gone...I am sorry Chiet Joo...I am truely sorry...you are always in my heart. Really...forever....Do rest in peace.