I carried you to bring me home.

Sometimes I just wonder why it seems so far to reach home. I know I am in the right path, I know i am moving and the view keep on changing but why I am still seems so far away from home. Then I met you, a little boy. Hey, I dont think that you know the answere for my question...i dont think that you can help me either to find the way home...no way! never mind. I still smile at you and greet you a good day cause i wish my smile can console your sadness. I proceed my journey, a journey that bring me no way. Not far from you, I heard your crying voice. Young boy, may I help you? Are you also lost? Let me carry you and sing you a song. It's my honour to be there for you, my dear little friend. Your village just a mile from here?I am very impressed! You know your way home! You just scare to walk alone. Dont worry, I will be with you until my service is call off. Do I feel tire? No, I am not because I have you not only you have me. I saw your village already. Green grass with roses. The aroma is the sweetest whalming welcoming home to you, my young friend. You are the lucky one. Then you gave me a warm hug before say good bye ... your hug make my heart beep again...yupp... I found the answere!!!...thank you...thank you for carrying me home too!!!...now I know...i know...my heart will show me the way home not the past...the past dragged back and put me still...may God bless you and your family, my young friend and thank you...the first key to go home is remember to bring our heart with us and never look back...I am on my way home again...thank you Lord..and thank you for this little angel that u send to me...to bring me home...

Last episod for chapter 1: Finally I met him.

I am very tired...How far I walked.. I am not sure. Just remembered that I felt down when I took a walk sometime ago. So painful. My right hand was bleeding. There was a young lady passed by. She looked at me then left me with a microscope. I just starred at her until she was lost in my sight.. I just wondered why she left me just like that yet i never dare really to walk away when she cried! We are a very close. She left me with a microscope and two four letters word...one is 'hurt' and one is 'hate'...I cant understand...never mind...at least now i have a microscope...may be i get the answeres. Hei, why am i crying?..none stop some more...Why? My right hand full of dirt and I even can see blood under my skin! Its a serious injury!!! Can see so clearly! What should I do? Suddenly I heard his voice. So gentle in the silence. I raise up my face. He is sitting at a small rock...not far yet not near to me. "Anna, its me," What a shock! How you know my name? Hey, since when my surrounding turned dark? I am in the middle of the jungle? Even worst...a deep cliff is just one step in front of me! When I reached there? It is already dark and I am alone here. "I can't see you? Who are you? Is it you who bring me here?"..."No, its not me but you yourself and the microscope. I was observing you and keep on calling you but you didn't hear it caused you were too busy... so, I have to keep on waiting for a small space in your sight to respon to me," What? You were there with me all the time? Then why don't you stop me? I almost fall down to the cliff!"..."That's why I am here, my dear," 'Mr, I feel vert cood, tire, get hurt and hungry! Can you show me the way home? I just want to go home...just go home...can you help me?"..."My dear, the microscope brought you here..chainned your legs ...bond your soul ...lead you to the darkness! I know you well. You woundn't bring any huge harm to anyone. Your heart is sofhten then clouds. You always turn back even you know it will bring disaster to your life! It is the microscope that lady gave you. It makes your heart turn cold and burn your soul with plenty of blames and guilties! You have to throw it it to the cliff to see your way home!"..."No! Its a present from her to acompany me! It might be the clue for me to know the secret behind two four letters word she left for me!"..."Yes, to accompany you to bring your life to the end! Look at your wounds...it is just a small scatches.. look at! Alone in the dark! Throw it now! You will find the clue for those words! Throw it now!"... "Who are you? Why should I listen to you?"..."Throw it now, my dear...you have no more time...no more chance to see the scene behind those suffer you have been through! Just throw it! Then I will tell you who I am,"...If this is the only hope to go home, I must and have to try..a try...a trial...and a trust just because he is the only one I have now... okay, I throw! I throw it! Now! A strong light just flash to my eyes...forced me turn to the back! I covered my face with my hands! I look up...I saw a path... flowers at both sides...rainbow in the sky...the lightness...yes...this is the path to go home! Where is he? Who is he?...He is gone in the wind...I opened my hands...there is a leaf at both side...i open it slowly...a leaf...the curve on the leaf at my left...only one four letters word...'LOVE'...the leaf on ly right is his name...I know him...yapp...quite a long time ago...and i almost forget him...His name is ... Gabriel, the angle from our Father in heaven...I can feel my heart beep again...my soul get alive again...the joy of love and the move of my foots...faster then ever...I am ready...I found it...i found the way home! I am coming home, my Father!

Four Letters Word

There are so many words in four letters but which word will come out from our mind is depend on the climate of our heart. There are two words crossed my mind just now which are totally contradicted, one is 'love' and one is 'hate'. Love is the foundation of hate? Is it true? I hate you so much show that actually i still love you very much? To me, the answer in NO. Love and hate cannot stand together. If I love you, no matter what you did to me and how much hurt you bring to me, I will forgive and accept you as you are...as many times as it could take until the love fade. Its not because of hate but its because the love faded. When we stop loving somebody, its doesn't mean we hate that person! It's just a turning point to change the relationship to become a friendship. Why must we replace the fading love with hate? Life is so short and has very limited space to fill in. So why have to fill with hate? If fall apart, cant we wish and bless each other have another wonderful journey? God loves us so much. Because of our sin, we fall apart from God but God still loves us so much and never ever hope that we all will fall to hell. He still 'open' the heaven 'gate' for us to go 'home'. Punishment...is use to make us reliaze our own faults, correct our misdoings and become a better person...not as a way to show hate and revenge. So, if we are angry, have arguement, a fight or even decided to fall apart, forgiveness and blessing are the way to say goodbye and blessed by God and one day if we met again, we still can smile and greet each other. Even we don't have the same way in our life journey but we still can choose the same path to heaven. Lets put aside this four letters word ... 'hate' in any kind of broken relationship to feel free to soar the blue sky and under the thunder with our strong wings without any burden in our heart.

Lost and found Vs found and lost

Sometimes we are not sure which is the right one...lost after found or found after lost...it seems that the first one will fill with tear and the other one will fill with joy but I found something else in the middle. Recently I lost something which is very precious to me. It makes me can't sleep for a few nights. I lost it and i lost myself completely. Tears like a stream took my life away. My mum cried, my brothers and sisters worried...if continue like this i will die slowly...they wondered what so precious until the lost can caused them to loose a daughter, a sister, a friend...Actually I start face difficulties to sleep since April cause i i am and always very worry ... worry that I might loose my precious one when I am not alert enough. What is that? It's love. But i lost it a few days ago and darkness was my world.. from sadness turned to anger...how I lost it? Through words...through words i hurt the person i love so much...through words I wasted every single chances I had...and through words bring to the end. Today, finally I can't go to work at all. I know its time to seek for a hut to rest...or else will get hunt to the dead. Lost after found does bring lots of repent, sadness, blames, hopeless and helpless but thank God...He back to me...in Matt 11:28 - 29. What is really bring all the sadness is not will find the lost or not but is forgiveness from the lost, the one that we care so much yet we hurt so much. Forgiveness doesn't means acceptance. I pray in Jesus Christ name to get forgiveness from the precious lost and hope to get the real precious present once again in my life...Not the return of the lost one, but the forgiveness is the most precious one...for the lost...already found a way out...praise God for that and may God bless you and protect you all time...and hope that you will remember to forgive me, the lost one to set you and me free...as long as yo are fine, my soul will rest.