finally I know....

Finally year 2011 Chinese New Year is just around the corner. Yesterday I send one of my ex-student to the airport. She is from Miri. From her face, I am sure she was so excited to be home again. Then I look at myself...for more than 12 years I were far away from my hometown, Penang and even now already 3 years in Penang yet I never ever feel that I am home once again. How could I ever tell all my beloved one that I dont have that kind of feeling at all? I will turn everybody down. It's nobody's fault except me...i refuse...i reject that I am from Penang! A place fill with hurts and disappoitments...i asked God once...why He send me back? Why? In my memory, big cities citizen is citizen of the world...they dont need me and I dont want to be there..then what should I do if this is the place that He wants me to be? Today i am in Penang for 3 years, one month and 26 days...i asked myself again...any answer for my questions? Where to go? When to leave? What He wants from me? Finally He gave me the answers...where should I go?...where there is need of love, care, support and acceptance of His people...when to leave?...when there is a emerge calling of His people from the other side of the world...what He wants from me?...to make use of His gift in me to guide, to help and to love His people...my students...He send me back to be with His beloved sons and daughters in Penang....after 3 years, finally I am willing to open my heart and listen quietly to His voice...yes, I am from Penang...and i found love that once I lost long long time ago in Penang....my students from Penang and Miri....the source of my love...the centre of Christ is LOVE...thank you Miri, thank you Chung Ling, thank you Union...mostly thank you Lord for your patience. No matter where I am, I am always at home...where is the love there is a home...I never ever once left my home...finally I know that I am home...