Lost and found Vs found and lost

Sometimes we are not sure which is the right one...lost after found or found after lost...it seems that the first one will fill with tear and the other one will fill with joy but I found something else in the middle. Recently I lost something which is very precious to me. It makes me can't sleep for a few nights. I lost it and i lost myself completely. Tears like a stream took my life away. My mum cried, my brothers and sisters worried...if continue like this i will die slowly...they wondered what so precious until the lost can caused them to loose a daughter, a sister, a friend...Actually I start face difficulties to sleep since April cause i i am and always very worry ... worry that I might loose my precious one when I am not alert enough. What is that? It's love. But i lost it a few days ago and darkness was my world.. from sadness turned to anger...how I lost it? Through words...through words i hurt the person i love so much...through words I wasted every single chances I had...and through words bring to the end. Today, finally I can't go to work at all. I know its time to seek for a hut to rest...or else will get hunt to the dead. Lost after found does bring lots of repent, sadness, blames, hopeless and helpless but thank God...He back to me...in Matt 11:28 - 29. What is really bring all the sadness is not will find the lost or not but is forgiveness from the lost, the one that we care so much yet we hurt so much. Forgiveness doesn't means acceptance. I pray in Jesus Christ name to get forgiveness from the precious lost and hope to get the real precious present once again in my life...Not the return of the lost one, but the forgiveness is the most precious one...for the lost...already found a way out...praise God for that and may God bless you and protect you all time...and hope that you will remember to forgive me, the lost one to set you and me free...as long as yo are fine, my soul will rest.